Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedI hear a question
forming
with something else inside

A lunge, given away
in shuffle-step
milliseconds
of weight shifting
gleaned, by glint in the eye

“do you know the benefits of [X] over [Y]?”
and
“what Sex, is on your passport, really…”
their response
to my response
is already designed
cocked back and loaded, in-chamber

“Well, actually…”
they reply
teeth baring, slight
I feel the correction coming
It flutters by
flying, just to the right
finding my solar plexus, humming

Thick tar
drips
coating interlocking discs
I can feel the gears tugging, slowly

How did they get inside?
the seep
of projected light
I thought I had sealed everything

I decide
not to fight
leave the dragons spinning, this time
reply "Thank you"
for teaching me to find
new shapes of asking
ways
to watch the wind blow, catching blade
further, down the shaft
gears disengage

“It sounds like
you already have your answer, babe”

Back of the Page

Rhetorical questions aim, don’t they?

You can sense this feeling of being in the cross-hairs, sometimes. The Asker betraying their next step with a subtle shift in weight, or a smirk forming at the corner…the feeling of light projected on canvas - their stories washing over you. Playing, without consent.

It can be in any setting: at Work, someone trying to convey expertise, by dropping little quizzes. “Did you know X, Y, or Z…” Either way you answer, you get the sense that this person is going to one-up you, or use it as a launching off point for a lecture.

Or a kid on the playground, asking their non-binary classmate about genitalia. Demanding to know what “Sex” is listed on their passport, only to immediately turn around and use in an attempt to refute their identity.

Answering at face value allows them to wield information within their framing.

What if we could detect these “Well, Actuallys” ahead of time, and side-step them? Feel the wind rushing past. As our blades spin, the gears attached at the shaft disengage. We hear them rustling. We feel the resistance on our wings…but we don’t play the game. We don’t exchange energy.

Rather than get discouraged, or angry that someone is projecting, how might we discern the different shapes of asking?

Does this feel like curiosity, to me? Or is it a Well, Actually…

⛮

Have you felt this way before, like you were about to be caught out in someone’s projection? Or have you realize you’ve loaded a question with an assumption or next step built-in (I have…)

How can we help each other realize this in the moment and move forward in a better way?