This morning, my daughter taught me
how to fish, with contradiction

Bear Grylls, spotting carrion
by way of circling wing

Inside, he found compromise
in little larvae, squirming
What was once alive
showing sure signs of infection
its walls of integrity, breached

He reached inside, taking light
carrying darkness, forward
affixing it to line, as bait
On the shore, water carried
new life underneath

Waveforms, waiting
to trade energy
finding ways out, with what's remaining
breathing, within the cycle
an even exchange we all make

To transcend is to iron out the wavelength
collapsing down, to sheet metal
A cool surface, brushed and neat

Heat knows it can never be consistent
consuming everything its bound to meet

I want to donate everything to charity
I want to make deposits on a lease

I want to dress up, and slay
as Infinity Nikki
I want to rise, swinging as foul Tarnished
lashing out on Elden Beasts

I want to know what plasmoids think
deflecting heat from a missile

I want to see
and be it all through a screen

I want to delete my accounts
deplete all the batteries

I want to skinny dip in a stream

I want to see everyone in alignment
I want to scream at hypocrisy

I want to believe all the rules are working
I want to shrug it off, and say fuck it, let’s see

I want this to stay unpublished
edit it forever
I want to let it go, now
in open palm release

I want to leave, get to work
then come home early

I want to lay on the floor
playing make-believe

I wanna hold, and know
what secrets the flame keeps

Back of the Page

This week, I’ve been thinking about contradiction. How much outrage we wield at the inconsistencies we see in the world. These rules aren’t applied fairly - this person is getting special treatment - this person is out of alignment with me!

I feel it, constantly. This need to protect myself by looking for alignment, and seeking this feeling of consistency. That people will do what they say, and apply actions evenly.

I thought of Scared CEO Hotlines contrasted with third grade teachers, forced to run active shooter drills and teach 5 year olds how to fashion makeshift chair-leg barricades. It’s absurd. The entire thing is one inconsistent, absurd contradiction.

Then, this morning, my daughter offered a story about Bear Grylls surviving, in a Netflix choose-your-own-adventure show. She described him being stranded and noticing birds circling. When he gets to the carcass, it’s overtaken by worms and decomposing. Instead of despair, he reaches inside and plucks an insect. Then, my daughter starts to beam - “I decided to use it as bait, to fish!”

We do this every day, as Life. We take from the darkness and bring it forward into the light. We trade negative energy for one more chance, one more day, at doing something different. We are inconsistent, because we are made that way. To be anything else would to be falling for a Billionaire AI Space Colonization trap - attempting to transcend life so far that we collapse into a cold piece of sheet metal. No, thanks.

This is why we came here - to find one more chance at survival, and pluck it from the darkness - to try again.

So take it as you will, but this is my Holiday Card for the year! May we all find a way to carry on, through any despair in 2025, by embracing our contradictions and moving forward by any means.