new frames
A Song about outgrowing old ways of seeing
She want a new song
She want a new thought
She wanna reign
She wanna roll
She want a new sum
She been afraid
Sleepin' in days
Hoppin’ a new sun
Let’s go and do sum’n
Let’s go and do sum’n, May
New frame, new frame
Hop out, new way
Nice day, Liu Kang
Bike ride insane
You know the way
Hoppin up, like you knew somethin’
Let’s go and do somethin’
Let’s go and choose somethin’
Why stay the same
Let’s make some new songs
Up in a balloon songs
Jumpin’ act a fool songs
In the kitchen, for once
Let’s break some rules, huh
Double up and make a move on, yeah
See your face and then I
Froze
Elbows out to my foes
Keepin’ up on my toes
Askin me what I know
Freakin’ out and it shows
Creepin’ up like a ghost
Tellin’ me to go slow
Takin’ me to No-Gos
Crawlin’ out on all fours
Doubt I needed more, but
Here goes
I been feelin’ summer days
Back when we knew what to say
We could take it easy, babe
I would feel it anyway
I would come and we’d escape
Take you on to brighter days
Break you out from hiding
We been sleepin’ in a safe
New frame, new frame
Hop out, new sun
New ways, new games
New songs, new dates
Liu Kang, insane
Yeah
Hoppin’ up, new sun
Hoppin' up, new funds
Up and outta phase
Ay
New frame, new frame
Why stay the same
I came
I saw
I wandered
Like I knew the way, ay
I made up a lotta ways
Just to stay and run in place
Reachin’ out from under rocks
Heavy with the healing weight of it
Drip and wade of it
Stories that are made up
Askin me to wait up
Listen to ‘em
Never that, ok
Peelin’ back, no switchin’ back
Got feelin’ back, ok
Done feelin’ bad, oh May
It flows
Up and outta my toes
Keep an eye on my name
Keep my feet in my pose
Keep my heat in my frame
Keep my seat in my soul
Keep my meaning the same
See the reasons I’m wrong
See the season in change
Meet em on the way, like
Singin’ new songs
New frame, new frame
Hop out, new frame
You know the pain
Showed you the way
Let go, it fades
Never had no meaning
Never had no meaning
Never had no meaning, anyway
I end up so offended when opened up undefended
Keep flyin’ up off the hinges
I’m makin’ up unamended
Keep eyein’ all of my business
Karma descended
In time, I’ll come and get it
It’s mine, I’ll take a minute
I’m fine, I know
It’s time, check the bank
New timeline where we catch a break
You’ll find mine
Steppin’ out the safe
New fine lines on a brighter ray
Drop the bags, keep the names
Keep the photos, know the pain
Drop the mask
Then read the notes
And feel the ghost say no to shame
We grew up to notice things, huh
We grew up to notice things, huh
We grew up and over, change
We grew up and over, change
We grew up and over, change
Now we need new frames
Credits
Lyrics Written and Performed by me :)
Music Composed and Produced by the44thfloor and t.y. jake
Mixed and Mastered by Deya Records & Angel Vergara (El Otro Lado Studio)
Back of the Page
Are you seriously going to release a song about feeling happy? Now?! with everything going on?
There’s that voice, again.
The one that crawls out on all fours, creeping up, hovering over the “Publish” button like a ghost “that’s not such a good idea, now, is it? what if someone interprets your happiness as a choice to look away from all the pain in the world?” How can you be happy, now?
Can two things be true at once? I guess we’ll find out. There’s another song for that voice: outrage, anger, finger-pointing at myself and others for not doing enough. I gave that voice what it wanted, in the end, but that’s for the next Post.
For now, let’s talk about happier things, like bike rides.
“new frames” is my journey escaping layers of self-imposed depression.
A Pickle-Rick/Andor-Jailbreak untangling some of the harmful stories that were pressing down on me from other dimensions.
Stories like:
“you don’t have the right to be happy when others are suffering”
or “you’re not safe to express yourself; you’re too privileged to take up space”
or “you’re taking yourself (and world events) too seriously! be grateful, lighten up”
or “you protect yourself so much that you’re isolated from good things happening”
It’s a roller-coaster of anxiety that all seems to point back to me needing to change or earn the right to be happy.
I can’t fix the world and yet I can’t stand idly by. There seems to be a program running where I’m always looking for new things to optimize, to fix, or to heal. But every time I take a step in that direction, a self-protection mechanism kicks in, oscillating between Self/Family/World. It spins up a whirlwind of doubt, criticism, and isolation.
My response to this whirlwind of emotion felt a lot like “sleeping in a safe.”
On a road trip last year to Guerneville, CA, I remember visiting a historic bank that had been restored into a fancy ice cream parlor. They had converted the vault into a walk-in area for Instagram photos and left the giant sailor’s wheel of a door propped open. I remember peeking in without entering, feeling a weird energy from inside: probably an irrational fear of the door locking behind me instilled from some childhood Goosebumps plot, “One Day Locked Away in Vault 9” - or maybe it was that time I was trapped in a stalled elevator for hours dressed as Splinter from Ninja Turtles with April (my wife, Zanni) and our Turtle friends. Cowabunga!
But the metaphor of being able to walk into a vault and close the door stuck with me: we’ve all been let down and hurt by other people. We’ve all played the victim card (or at least listened as those victim stories played in our heads). If only the other people did what they were supposed to do, right?
Putting up the walls and locking yourself away for safety is a convenient, privileged narrative to choose after opening up to the world and being “taken advantage of” by people that don’t follow through, that lie, cheat, or steal from you. People that inflict pain on others and get away with it. We can see injustice everywhere if we choose to, and boy, did I see it, and take it personally.
The two most emotional lines in the song for me were “we’ve been sleeping in a safe” and “I end up so offended when opened up undefended.”
Life has felt like a dance of opening up with vulnerability, shaking things up when they get too rigid, and seeking out new experiences for growth. The most beautiful moments have been the unexpected ones, where I find a deeper level of trust.
Not a trust in what the other person will do, but a trust in energy balancing out in the long-run.
This song is me coming to terms with the fact that I can’t solve it all, but I can do something. I can be grateful and happy, even in the moments where there is immense disappointment, disillusionment, and outrage at what other people are doing. How can I re-center my narrative on what I choose to do and how I interact with people, trusting that things will balance out with karma in the long-term.
Once I find that level of trust (and it comes and goes…), I lose the urge to shelter-in-place for protection, because I know that whatever happens, I will recover and things will balance out energetically, in the long-run. My stories fall away and the World moves on. But while I’m here, I’m going to try on some new frames, embracing both sides: the happiness and the anger. More on the latter in my next Post.
Thanks for listening, and please share with someone that would appreciate this song!
What new frames have you tried on recently?